Aviva Dautch: "Each of us has a name"

Each of Us Has a Name
Aviva Dautch, eulogy in memory of Ester Gluck, 1 October 2006
L’HOL ISH YESH SHEM –EACH OF US HAS A NAME
by ZELDA (trans. Marcia Falk)

Each of us has a name
given by God
and given by our parents

Each of us has a name
given by our stature and our smile
and given by what we wear

Each of us has a name
given by the mountains
and given by our walls

Each of us has a name
given by the stars
and given by our neighbors

Each of us has a name
given by our sins
and given by our longing

Each of us has a name
given by our enemies
and given by our love

Each of us has a name
given by our celebrations
and given by our work

Each of us has a name
given by the seasons
and given by our blindness

Each of us has a name
given by the sea
and given by
our death.

Each of us has a name

Ester liked names. People named her and she named herself. She called other people names. Often wickedly funny and accurate names, sometimes complementary names, and sometimes…

Ester called Angela ‘Eima’. Angela called Ester, ‘Est’. In fact Angela stuck up phrases around the house: ‘Est is best’, ‘Impressed by Est’, and, a particular favourite, ‘Est well dressed.’

Each of us has a name… given by what we wear

Many of you on Friday will have heard Ester’s best friend Natalie call her ‘The Purple Princess’ and many of you today are wearing purple in her honour.

Each of us has a name given by God and given by our parents

Ester Bracha bat Moreinu Ha’Rav Tzvi Hersh v’Elka.

Ester Bracha.

Ester’s names say so much about her. Ester, the Persian Queen, whose book, Megillat Ester, is the one biblical story in which God’s name is not mentioned, in which God’s face is hidden. And ‘Ester’ literally means hidden. It may seem to us that God’s face is hidden also at this moment, for what has happened seems senseless.

Yet, Megillat Ester, infamous for God’s absence, is famous for human action. In a time when, because of jealousy, prejudice and fear, the death of the Jewish community was seemingly inevitable, lives were saved by the practical actions of Queen Ester. And that’s what our Ester was all about, practical action to change the fate of those attacked or disregarded by society. Practical action to make sense of the world.

Megillat Ester is not an easy story to read. God is absent, people are oppressed, the resolution is uncomfortable, and we are left with many questions. Megillat Ester is complex. But we acknowledge its complexity, wrestle with its meaning, and, year after year, celebrate the joy we can find within it.

Our Ester’s life was complex but it also contained much joy. And her full name was more than Ester, was ‘Ester Bracha’.

‘Bracha’ means blessing and knowing Ester was a blessing to so many of us in so many different ways. And it was the way Ester made Brachot, made ritual blessings, that showed me who she was. For when Ester led Birkat Ha’Mazon, Grace After Meals, it was not enough for her to make one general blessing for everybody, instead she named every person at the meal in order to bless them individually. The last time I saw Ester, on Rosh Hashana, even that was not enough for her. As well as their usual guests, Angela and Ester had invited home from Synagogue anyone who did not have anywhere else to go - many of us were strangers, so, to help us connect, Ester made us all name (and therefore bless) each other. Before she started bentsching she did something that I’m going to do now and that is to ask everyone present to turn to their neighbour and ask their name. And I’m going to ask you to do something more, which is, after giving your name, to tell each other very briefly, in a couple of sentences, about your relationship with Angela and Ester. Once you have introduced yourself to your neighbour on one side, turn around and do the same with your neighbour on the other.

[pause…]

Ester was all about knowing your name, creating relationships, making connections. She named us each individually, had a distinct relationship with every person. She knew us, and often helped us to know ourselves.

In my last conversation with Ester, on Saturday night, she described her new job and told me a story that I would like to share with all of you. One of the things her job involved was putting together and distributing a newsletter containing writing by detainees. One man she was working with sent her a description of his experiences and she had to tell him that she couldn’t use it – it was too factual and contained information about his interaction with the legal system that she wasn’t allowed to publish. So she talked to him about how to write creatively, in the hope he would produce something that she could print. He wrote a poem and sent it to her. He kept writing and sending her poems – poem, after poem, after poem came pouring out. It made her so happy because she had helped him use his experiences, she had helped him transform his memories, she had helped him to be creative.

Ester Bracha, you helped transform so many of our experiences. You named us, you knew us, you helped us know ourselves.

Ester Bracha, you were joyous, creative and giving. You were complicated. You were hidden. We each only knew you partially, but today we are going to share our knowledge because we want to know you a little better, and therefore, perhaps, know each other better.

Ester Bracha, you were loved by so many friends, lots of whom are here today. Several have asked, or have been asked, to share thoughts, readings, poetry and songs, so after the memorial prayers we are going to have a space for those people and others who would like to share memories of Ester and connect with each other.

Ester Bracha bat Moreinu Ha’Rav Tzvi Hersh v’Elka.

Zichronam li’vracha. May your memory be for a blessing.