Thursday, April 19, 2007

Bini Hirsh: wish

Dear Ester,

I wish I could tell you about the week away I just had with FOCUS.I wish you were there and then I wouldn't have to tell you. It would have been a two way thing – your heart would have been filled with joy by the achievements of the teenagers involved, and they would have thrived on your attentions and your wisdom. I wish it could have happened that way.

We took a group of teenagers who have been involved with us before and have found it helpful, and offered them the opportunity to use their new-found skills to help others. A couple of days talking about leadership skills and team work, then halfway through the week we presented each team of five young people and three volunteers with a video camera and a minibus and told them their challenge was to 'change the world' and keep a video diary while doing it!

Ester, you know the sort of situations many of these kids live in; at the beginning of the week they all just felt powerless. They knew they wanted things to change, but they didn't believe that anything they did would have an effect; they didn't think they had the power to implement those changes.

If only you could have seen the journey these kids went on this week. The teenagers on my team chose Gandhi's words as their inspiration and we drove around Gloucestershire with a banner taped to the side of our bus saying 'Be the change you want to see in the world.' They handed out fair trade chocolates and talked to local people about movements like fair trade, and about little things that individuals can do to change the world. They handed out colourful leaflets they had made with different ideas, and were so excited when one village stuck the leaflet up in the window of their tourist information office! The smallest guy on our team, a bullied little kid with a speech difficulty, said that if he had one wish that would change the world it would be to make the police more friendly, so they arranged to go to a police station and interview an officer to talk about how they could change the bad reputation young people have with police, and how to improve relationships between young people and the police. And it was only at the end of their two day challenge that they began to realise the greatest effect all their actions had had – these tough guys who a year ago you wouldn't have wanted to meet on a street corner at night had turned into ambassadors of change, showing everyone that young people really do care and do want to help to improve their worlds. They showed that young people can be approachable and can have intelligent conversations and can respect different opinions. I guess you had to be there, but you'll just have to take my word for it – it was inspiring.

But aside from all the world changing adventures, what really struck home was that these tough guys we had started working with a year or two ago are really just children who have had a horrible time. As their confidence grows enough to let them show holes in their armour, what we see underneath are scared children who desperately want love and security. They need you Ester.

You're not here. We're doing the best we can for them anyway. One of the volunteers, a guy called R, is fantastic with the boys – at bedtime he just acts like a Dad. He goes round reminding them all to brush their teeth and wash their faces, and if their faces are grubby he rummages around in his pockets for a tissue while they just wipe their faces on their sleeves then give him a cheeky grin like happy little kids. Then they get into their beds and he sits and reads Harry Potter to them until they fall asleep. You wouldn't believe the youngest is fourteen and the oldest nearly seventeen. When they were leaving yesterday they all swarmed round him with their little kid faces on again, wanting a hug or a hair-ruffling or just a last bit of that secure child feeling before they had to go back to the real world. And with love like that the teenagers turn themselves into brothers and sisters, looking after each other and feeding love back into their 'family'. I loved that when there were arguments or tears they could mostly resolve it amongst themselves – that they are growing independent of us now.

Your friend S, who you were so inspired by that time – he's having a really hard time at home. He's a strong and talented person, you saw that before all the rest of us, and he has the love of all his 'brothers and sisters', but his life at home is so tough these days that none of us know if he will get through it and we're all worried for him. He could have done with your support this week Ester.

I know you're not here, and I know it's pointless me writing all this but I just WISH you could see it and I wish you could be involved, and I wish you could also enjoy the hope and the optimism and the human kindness that these kids gave to me this last week. I hate wishing for the impossible Ester, I hate this.

All at BID (Bail for Immigration Detainees): spirit in our fight

We write to express our sadness at Ester’s death. It seems unbelievable that we won’t be getting any more emails, with details of detainees, from her. We have tragically lost a member of the cause and her spirit will be with us in our fight.

Helena Cullen (LDSG volunteer): dedication and commitment

I only met Ester once, during my training, but I remember very clearly her dedication and commitment to the work. She was also very kind and supportive when I spoke to her on the phone, in connection with my detainee.