Mark Friend: Laughing and Crying

I still can’t believe that you’ve left us Ester. It seems like only yesterday that we were having lunch in Will and Gloria’s garden, soaking in the last of the Autumn sun and talking about life. Annie and I hadn’t seen you for a little while and there was a lot to catch up on. For a couple of hours the conversation careered from the most personal things in our lives through to the latest funny episode. A lot had happened to all of us and as usual we talked very openly and frankly, after all what other way is there to talk. I’ve thought about you every day over the last few weeks and I usually come back to the three of us laughing and crying and failing to wind up your mum (despite trying hard).

I also think a lot about the great times we had at your place over the years since we got to know you in the late ‘90s. Hanging out with us during Angela’s classes, you and Angela singing together, welcoming me in at festivals, opening my eyes to the joys of a good philosophical arm wrestle. Last year, in your succah, when Annie was heavily pregnant, you spent the whole time entertaining Max and Abigail –which largely entailed them chasing you around the garden like a mad thing, hiding in the undergrowth and telling lots of stories. They loved you immediately, which doesn’t often happen with them, and couldn’t get enough. I like to think that you’re entertaining Sam now, running around with him, telling him stories, giving him a hug when he needs it.

Crystal Oldman: Three Special Memories

Dear Ester

This is so hard to write. I have three special memories to share, Ester.

We first met when you were 3 years old and Angela was my tutor. I had no children of my own at the time, but my profession included daily contact with children of your age and assessment of their development; so I knew that you were a very special child the moment I met you. So knowing, so intellectually advanced for your young years, so capable of being a part of the conversation amongst a roomful of adults even at that young age! A very special bond was evident in the loving and affectionate relationship with your mum too – a kind of mutual respect that does not normally emerge for a number of decades (and sometimes never) between a parent and child.

A couple of weeks ago I looked at photos of you at our wedding at age four. What a gorgeous picture you made, and really you should have been my bridesmaid – in every photo you were there standing firmly in front of the one adult bridesmaid (an adult) that I had, wrapped in her long skirts and holding her bouquet. After the wedding, the comments about the charming, enchanting and oh-so-obedient little bridesmaid I received were a delight!

Skip forward 14 years for my second memory. This is of the evenings spent in your flat when you were working in the Day Nursery and Alex & Ollie were being tutored for their B’Nei Mitzvah by your mum in the living room. Every Wednesday night you would come home to find that you had Janice & myself in your kitchen, but you never once complained that your teenage space had been invaded. After a long and exhausting day at work, you sat with us on the floor of the kitchen every week for months and sipped tea and chatted about your day and your plans for Africa. You always had time for us and it was like talking to a third friend who had just joined the party. Never mind that there was a 23 year age gap, your mature conversation, exchanging views on humanity and your accounts of your day at work were engaging and amusing and I always looked forward to those evening interludes with you.

I was delighted to have time with you again on Sunday mornings when you were 21 and the boys were again being tutored by Angela for their GSCE. We spent many a happy Sunday morning discussing the dubious potential value to any future career of taking statistics exams, the state of the world and the meaning of life and you never once complained when you woke up to find I was in your kitchen again when you emerged for a quiet Sunday morning. You said that you could never be a teacher and yet Alex & Ollie said that when you joined Angela for any of their sessions over the years they loved your teaching; you were a gifted teacher with an instant rapport with children of all ages and an innate ability to convey knowledge and enable understanding.

My third memory is of the wonderful Pesach and Rosh Hashanah celebrations spent in your home with you and Angela. Our family were welcomed into your home with open arms and I cannot imagine another High Holiday without your beautiful face, your lovely smile, your gorgeous voice, your amazingly accurate mimicking of Adam - and the heated discussions between you & Gary about the latest world news, which you loved to tease him as being singularly responsible for.

Ester, we love you. Gary, Alex, Ollie and I will never experience another Pesach or Rosh Hashanah celebration without remembering what we are missing. You have made each one of us a better person for knowing you and you will always be in our hearts.

Crystal X

P.S. Ester, this was not so hard after all. I only had to think of you and the words (and tears) flowed. CX

Natalie Marx: Ester and Ghana

When frequently asked 'Of all the places in Africa why did you chose to go to Ghana?' Ester and I always proclaimed that it was Ghana which chose us. Fate had somehow landed us together in a wonderland of smiles, warmth, fufu and heavenly music.

I observed that summer how my best friend - sister - formed a love affair with Ghana and all its beauty.

Ester, with all her own beauty, instantly found a deeply rooted connection to a people who at first glance appear so different to our/her own. She connected spiritually to a people whose faith in G-d was magnificent, despite challenges which faced them. Determined to connect physically, she would endeavour to pound fufu. We were taught by some girls at a Vocational Training Center to use a huge machete to chop down shrubs…Ester put me to shame as she hacked away, unwavering in the challenge. Enjoying every single moment. Effortlessly she was able to eradicate the barrier caused by the colour of her skin, empowering those she was in contact with and she would open her arms and heart to everyone she met.

I was humbled when I saw Ester and her capacity to love ...because to her it was entirely instinctive. The children in the orphanage were not afraid of Ester as they were of so many other strangers. Ester had endless amounts of ways to adore the children and they truly adored her. As did all those who met her … and when she returned to Ghana a year later, their love remained true as they did not hesitate to remember her name and welcomed her with open arms and love. As with everything in esters life – it was so important for her that this summer in Ghana was not simply an experience from which she would benefit. No – for Ester it was her aspiration to follow through the programme she had so modestly set up in Ghana. If not for the fact that she wanted to see good being done … but also to make sure no damage was going to be done! As well as mastering the language of Ghana – Twi – learning to speak, read and write in an attempt to truly ‘understand’ the people we were working with, she also mastered the art of volunteering. She was and will always remain for me my angel and role model. I am blessed that Ester was my best friend and may her memory continue to be a shining example for Tzedek of what a true volunteer should aspire to be.

Karena Smith: The Strength in You

Darling Ester
Two days old
Bright and shining
Love to hold.

Babysitting
Watch you sleep
Write an essay
Not a peep.

Growing bigger
We read books
Draw wild pictures
Practice funny looks.

Away awhile
A card or two
Purple sad storms
The strength in you!

All that is beauty
Wise and kind
Heart gift to others
Magical mind.

Study days
An email back
Witty message
With punch to pack

Recent evening
So good to share
My favourite thing?
That you were there

My name is Kas and I am very lucky to have known Ester since she was born. What a privilege to watch such a fine young woman grow and become this amazing magical person. Ester touched me and many others so deeply, I didn’t know how deeply. She held a passion for right, thought so much and cared about real things that matter. She connected and understood, more than a people person somehow people were in her person. We often played with words. I struggled with what and how to write for this blog, nothing seems to write right. Ester is special; my times with her were sheer delight and joy. I love Ester and always will.